Shades of a Blue Hangover

O, Mother of all Whores!  Bag of shit mode in full effect!  Stayed up too late and got up too early, but who am I to complain?  Sometimes, you just have to brush yourself off and go suck the day’s dick, as they say. And do not…  I repeat, do not, neglect the balls.

After all, it’s not everyday that I get to take my girlfriend to work, make breakfast, walk my dogs, drive to South Austin and back, develop very hard opinions about the current state of heavy metal, drop the car off, and ride back home against the wind on my new KHS Tempe… All before noon.  With a palsy-like hangover.  Come on!  Somebody pat my back!

Pictured: Me.  Today.


And I still have an hour to kill before I go in to be the shining face of my current employ, (which is currently making it very difficult for me to afford my very modest standard of living, not particularly due do to any nefarious ill will on behalf of the owners or managers…  really just a symptom of a capitalist society in general, but more on that later!)  I should be sleeping, but I have opinions!  Hoo boy, do I ever!

What follows is a disjointed amalgam of random thoughts which have floated through my brain this morning.  Shout out to Lone Star Beer and Espolon Silver.

 Holla at ya boys…

There are few scents that bring me back to my childhood more than the smell of freshly-cut wood and gasoline.  And in realizing that, I recognize that I am quickly becoming the product of a bygone age.  I’ve lived a few lives.  I grew up in the woods, moved to suburbia, and grew up some more before moving to “the big city”.  I fight with myself all the time.  I don’t empathize with overly-sensitive people because, well… fuck you.  And at the same time I have to take heed to the notion that everybody you encounter has an entire lifetime of experiences under their belt before you cross paths with them, so you have to respect that.  I don’t know.  All I can say is, don’t get too soft, kids.  Life isn’t about to get any easier.

Picking up dog shit also irks me.  Nobody did that shit in the ’90s.

Maybe the ’70s, but definitely not the ’90s.

Speaking of which, what is happening with heavy music?!  What the fuck?!  Are people just running out of ideas or was that actually Judas Priest I heard on The Devil’s Dozen?  No?  It wasn’t?  Oh, right, that band had blast beats!  That’s how you tell them apart!  Seriously, though.  There are bands out here doing very interesting things.  Pay attention!  I understand what it is to draw from different influences, but you don’t have to be a parrot of those influences.
Wait.  What’s this?  The new Dillinger Escape Plan single?  Time to be objective.

Although they did play the show that convinced me to get off my ass and officially end my band‘s hiatus, and I feel like I owe them a lot, I must MUST! listen to it from as close to the middle of the road as I can.  Even if the idea of them breaking up sometime next year feels like somebody I know just got shot.

Gotta be professional.

But I totally get it.  You don’t want to become self-referential to the point of hob-knobbery, and you want to do it right and have your body of work be a complete circle.

Can’t let those feelings cloud my judgment.

Completely understand, though.  You’re not trying to be Woody Allen in this mother fucker.  Or maybe even…

Metallica??!! – with the current #1 song in heavy metal?  I mean, it’s not bad for a bunch of 50+ L.A. dudes.  I see that you got Lars to practice his gallop beats and found your kick drum sample from …And Justice For All, but was that a Nomeansno rip-off I heard in the chorus?   Seriously guys.  A for effort, kings of the castle and all, but seriously… Seriously.  What year is it?

I hope James Hetfield never finds this.  It would be super embarrassing if we  ever meet.

Please don’t hurt me.

Nice job on the new tune, Dillinger.  I dig it.

Well, that’s about all, friends!  I’ve been meaning to dust my vernacular off for a little while, but I’ve been busy turning 30 and stuff.  I neglected rest, don’t have time to shower, and now I’m gonna go stand behind a register for 8 hours!  Wish me luck.


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